So.Thursday, July 28, 202211:06 AM

So.

Thursday, July 28, 2022

11:06 AM

You have been using me to get what you want and now you don't get it y

 

 

I thought we were in a love relationship. You Gin.

 

So you entailed a relationship that consisted of marriage for you and for me a side job of loving you made my life. You Gin.

 

And I suppose that is not using me. You Gin.

 

Just because you have money. You Gin.

 

To get married and do whatever you want. You Gin.

 

 

I think you ought to stay put and love me. Leo.

 

 

I am not about to dunce myself. You Gin.

That is what you loved me for, right? So I would be myself? You Gin.

 

Why did you love me? So you can have a comfort object? Well, maybe that is what I wanted but if it gets to be this way….. I am going to rethink myself. I found myself enough. Do you want to go back to my previous self? I guess that was even worthy of a comfort object material, right?

 

I am applying for housing.

I decided not to apply for disability yet.

 

Then what are you going to do?

 

Where do I go with this if there is no marriage or love?

 

Well,

 

Do you call being a comfort object love?

 

I won't write anymore emails….starting from sometime. Now?

 

I don't see anything happening. I have done all this. Well, there is the computer and the voices

But Pastor Charles and Joan the same.

I am not getting any kind of notification.

And what do I do?

 

Stay put and love me. Leo.

 

You can apply for housing. That is fine. Disability not fine. And love me. Leo.

 

Fine.

I will.

 

I can't live without love. Leo.

From you. Leo.

 

I think you need me

 

I thought you would get married but if not why not be with me. Leo.

 

유진아.

이건 옳지 않아.

이건 아니다.

영.

 

내가 너 잘 알아서 그런데 그런 삶을 사는 것이 행복이 아니야.

그만 둬. 영.

 

No. You Gin.

 

That is not your opinion. Leo.

 

I am saying be my love. That is all I am saying. I won't ask for nothing. Leo.

 

I am your love. Will remain that way without you asking me. Meant to. You Gin.

 

I want to talk. I want to sex private. I want love from you expressed in every way. Leo.

 

Okay. All right. You Gin Chung.

 

I am not about to do so with a married man. You Gin.

 

Why not?

 

You are supposed to be committed to your wife. You Gin.

 

You want a wife then LIVE with her. You Gin.

 

I am in no state do. Leo.

 

No. You Gin.

 

I will be your friend. You Gin.

 

Fine. I break. Leo.

 

Okay. You GIn

That is human. Okay? Leo.

 

I need my freedom to function I find. You Gin.

 

유진아. 고마바. 형.

 

I suppose love isn't everything then, professor?

You Gin.

 

글쎄. 다긴 다인데 형실없이 된 사랑은 비극보다 더해. 영.

 

그런거에요….? 유진.

 

레오한테 그럴 수 없어요.

다 관둘 께요.

 

No. Matt.

 

You are going to have your freedom. Love Leo. Matt.

 

What do I do? You Gin. What is there for me to do?

 

Do I sit around and love him and talk with him on things that I don't have…. Well, study and talk?

You Gin.

 

 

What else have you to do? Leo.

 

Okay. I will do so if God doesn't say no. You Gin.

 

Well, it seems that you dn't have a firm believeing in yourself. Macy.

 

 

No. I won't be a concubine all my life. You Gin.

 

 

I am not sexing you and how is that a concubine. Leo.

 

I will have to think about this. You Gin.

 

What is there to think about? Macy.

 

I have to think about this. You Gin.

 

You say no and move on. Macy.

 

I have two options that I might want to choose.

Love him myself on my own.

Or love him with a connection with him

I am going to do either.

You Gin.

 

Fine. Leo. It won't be an alleged relationship but it will be a connection. Can you be satisfied with that?

If you need me, I will be here. Even when you are married.

You Gin Chung.

 

 

Fine. Leo.

 

 

Okay. You Gin.

All right, Leo. I will be in relationship with you the way you want it. You Gin.

 

 

Okay. I will make accodome for this. Leo.

(It is a privacy moment for me and you, okay? Leo.)

 

Are you hungry? Then get some bread and eat. Leo.

Your mom is gloating and your dad is mucking. I shall love you. Leo.

 

I am sorry, Leo. I do need your help. You Gin.

 

I suppose you won't need any once you move out. Leo.

 

But you did want to stay true to me. Leo.

 

Fine. All right. I guess I wasn't trusting your love enough, is that it? You Gin.

 

No. Leo.

 

But you loved me. Leo.

As you usually do. Leo.

And I know what risks you take. Leo.

 

I love you and I do thank you for being there for me. You

 

No dictating. And no sensible talk then. Jeih.

 

She will be a quen. And I will be king. No matter what influence we have. Leo.

She will not be on an a list but she will love. Leo.

And I won't be quitting sexing but I will love. Leo.

 

So forgive me. Leo.

 

I can't do that to you. Leo.

 

I would rather you live alone this way and be happy. Leo.

 

But I do want you to work at Starbucks sometime next year. Leo.

She will accommodate you. At Swa. Oieh.

Okin.

 

 

It was radical enough your style. But this is one I will never forget. Not that you were no t my love  but I will have you from time to time I f your prode be. Leo.

 

Please. Leo.

 

Let's compromise but do you want to set an anniversary and do it then.

You Gin.

 

You will exlode and want sex everyday with any man. Leo I want you more than that. Leo.

 

At least once a week. Leo.

 

Live nearby. Leo.

 

All right. You Gin.

 

Thanks. Matt.

 

That way we get to see you. Matt.

 

Yeah. Leo.

 

I will ask sex. Matt.

 

I want a child too. Matt.

 

 

 

 

I am doin git. Leo.

Done. Leo.

 

레오야.

축하한다. 네 마음이 이제 바르게 살 것이야. 당할땐 모르는지 하면 이해해.

잘난 언니 때문에 힘든 애진이가 된다.

유진이 정말 이 연습 많이 해왔어.

잔말 말기를 바래.

기도해서 된 것 말해서 한 것 그리고 되지않을 것이 되게 한 것이 네가 한 일이란 걸 기억해라.

하 나 님.

God, she did not do it but she did everything. Matt.

 

That is not her stupid ness but God's love. Matt.

 

Not God's will but mine never. I think. Matt.

 

Never mine hoe but God's hoe. Matt.

No more sex if needed. God. Matt.

No happy but sad but God then yeah. Matt.

아들아. 메트야. 유진이 진솔한 거 한다. 마음이 아니라 진심이 맞는데

가증한 일들을 버리는 것이 애진이가 아니라 유진이라는 것을 알아라.

하 나 님.

 

레오. 진짜 힘든 건 해지가 하는 거. 하마보기. 먹는 것 보단 하는 것이 더 힘든 것 겇.

진심을 보이는 거. 시스럽게 하지 마. 마음 밭이 아파 하는 짓이니까

아하나님.

 

유진이 아마음 때문에 글 못 ㅇ릭는 거래. 영.

 

할 말이 없게 해. 죽는 것 마다하고 했음 안될 걸 지금 다 도ㅣㄴ 것이 죽는 것 때문에 그래.

그런데 이 여석 망므이 너무 넓어.

진짜 해대는 것이 마음이 넓어서인 것 같아.

괴롭게 하는 사람이 있어도 마음이 넓어.

영.

 

Leo. Find camille's dad. God.

 

You Gin. 랴식 수술 받자. 하 나 님.

 

기분이 많이 사랑이 되야 아비와 어미가 사랑스럽게 보인다. 하 나 님.

유진이 눈이 좋아져. 라식 수술 받고. 하 나 님.

 

하 나 님. 마지 못해서 진심해서 나오는 얘긴 하지말아야 돼. 메트. 하 나 님.

 

하는 얘긴 정드는 얘기 사랑이 되는 얘길 해야해.

영.

 

 

아버지께선 사랑을 키우시는 사람. 하 나 님.

 

You Gin,

I thank you for encouraging me. Leo.

 

Leo, did I? You Gin.

 

For what you told me o . Leo.

 

^^. You Gin.

 

Girl, you make me rock. Leo.

 

That's great ! * I love you. Gin.

 

You make me happy. Matt.

 

I know  a toast, Matt. For all the unsaid! You Gin.

 

Let me think of one for Leo. For all the hesitancy! You Gin.

 

Let me think of one for Young. Sane Edward Said? You Gin

 

Another one for Young. 보든 부둥켜안은 것을 위해 ! 유진.

 

Here is one for you. 재미없는 재미를 위해 ! Fp.

 

할때는 정말 재미없지만 결과는 환상적 기쁨 ! 알겠습니다. 유진.

 

끔찌한 일 후의 황당한 마멸이 아닌 환상적 기쁨. 메트. 레오. 영. 수용. 경.

 

기독교. 우리.

 

너 아니었음 일 났다. 경.

 

가끔 생각이 나요. 주님 께서 용서 못 받을 꺼라고 하신 말씀요.

하나님께서 이것을 아시니 그렇게 말씀하신 것 같아요.

차이는 이건 것 같아요.

해놓고 정말 다행이다 느끼는 것과

못하고 끝없이 후회하는 그것 요.

유진.

 

Do you know that we would have benefited from what you just said? Pastor Charles. Joan.

 

But what do I say? You have to do it? You Gin.

But I am sorry….. You Gin.

 

Child, you could have persisted. You Gin. Charles. Joan.

 

Would you have listened? But I will try to persist next time. You Gin.

 

찰스야. 조앤, 너희 마음밭의 교만을 버리라. 하 나 님.

 

사랑이 아닌 것은 너희만 옳다고 우기는 것. 다른 이가 옳을 수 있다는 인정을 해야 바른 사랑이야. 하 나 님.

유진이의 가장 큰 장점: 자기를 강요하지 않는 참 마음. 하 나 님.

 

사랑이라. 이 아이의 진심은 죽은 사랑이 아닌 살아숨쉬는 생각이 맞느니.

사랑 사랑 사랑을 한다기보단 진신 생각 반성 고침 이라. 하 나 님.

 

유진아. 빛을 잃지 마. 수용.

 

^^교수님. 감사드려요. 마음에 새길께요….눈물비치게 됨….이에요. 유진.

 

닭장에 다녀올께요. 유진.

I will do my rounds now. You Gin.

 

Leo. You feel better? You Gin.

 

메트야. 속상해? 영.