제 9장 교수님께 드리는 편지

제 9장 교수님께 드리는 편지

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

3:17 AM

도서관에 앉았다.

그리고 근 한 달 동안 페이퍼 쓰는 일에 착수했다.

주홍 글씨를 메인 텍스트로 설정하고

난 내 인생에서의 뼈져린 경험

즉 낙인 찍힌 삶에 대한 통찰에 대해 써내려갔다.

 

나는 영문 페이퍼를 쓴 일이 대학에선 거의 없었고

내가 영어로 페이퍼를 쓴 일은 미국에서 초등학교 시절

영어문학 시간에 쓴 것들이었다.

 

나의 reference즉 참고 문헌은 참 희한했다.

문학 스피드 코스인 cliff notes도 들어가 있었고

그 당시 유명하셨던 목사님의 치유강좌도 들어가 있었다.

 

내 페이퍼의 주제는

낙인 찍힌 사람도 그 산 삶에 의해 그 악명이 아름다운 이름으로 바뀔 수 있다는 것이었다.

마치 해스터 프린의 참다운 인생으로

그의 가슴의 흉칙한 글자 A가

간음자adulterer 에서 천사angel로 바뀌었듯이 말이다.

 

난 교수님께 내 draft를 보여드리고 싶었다.

그래서 내가 수정을 본 노트북 채로

교수님을 찾아뵈었다.

 

약속도 하지 않고 찾아간 나였다.

 

연구실에 계실 것이라 생각하고 찾아간 나는

불이 켜져있는데 안에 아무도 없는 것을 보고

바깥 계단에 노트북을 펼쳐놓고

펜으로 수정을 다시 보았다.

 

교수님을 기다리고 있었다.

불이 켜져있기에 곧 오시겠지 라는 생각에서였다.

 

어느덧 앉아있는데 위층 계단에서

교수님께서 내려오시는 것이었다.

작업복 조끼를 입으시고

손에는 펜과 결제서 하나.

그리고 그녀는 나를 보셨다.

 

계단 밑에 노트북과 함께 있는 나를 보시곤

내려오셨다.

 

난 일어서서 노트북을 그녀에게 건넸다.

 

잠시 훝어보시더니

나에게 넌 바보야 외마디하신다.

추천서 생각해볼께.

 

난 너무 행복하다.

계단을 내려 가다 넘어질 뻔한다.

 

교수님은 그런 나를 보시곤

조심해라 하시며

복도를 다시금 내려가신다.

 

I staked out at the library for a month and worked at the paper.

The Scarlet Letter was my chosen text and the paper was from my life pains.

It was an insight on the life of the tainted.

 

I had almost written no English papers in university classes and the only time I had written them were in elementary English classes.

 

My reference was quite something unique.

Since I had no idea what a reference was to be, I included a cliff notes for scarlet letter as well as a healing spirituality lecture by a renowned Korean pastor I had attended.

 

The theme of my paper was that even a tainted person through the life he or she lives can change the ominous marking to something beautiful.

Just as Hester Prynne through her life changed the ominous letter A on her breast from suggesting the meaning of Adulterer to the A suggesting Angel.

 

I wanted to show professor the original draft that I worked on so after it was done and revised, I took the notebook and paid a sudden visit to her office.

 

The light was on but she wasn't in.

 

I sat on the stairway and waited for her, working final markings into the notebook where the draft was written.

I guessed she would be soon in since the light was on.

 

Presently she appeared from the stairs above.

She stopped when she saw me, halted and then proceeded down.

 

She was in a work vest and had a pen and a document to be signed in her hand.

 

When she came down to the hallway I stood up and handed her my notebook.

She looked at me fondly and took the notebook.

 

She took a look and with a cry exclaimed "you stupid".

"A recommendation I will consider".

 

It was not a derogatory remark but the contrary.

I was so happy I almost tripped.

 

There. There. She said then resumed her way down the hallway with the added notebook in her hands.